Friday, January 16, 2015

Reader Roundup 1-16-2015

Watch me do my little kooky dance.
First we have this gem from Dwight where Clayton Cornelison decided it was a good idea to do "the Helicopter" in a crosswalk.  If you're not familiar with the helicopter or the Charlie Chaplin, you either don't have a penis or enough free time on your hands.

I wouldn't steal her pork chops.
Next up, Greg sent in our honorary Floron of the week.  Yolanda Veasley from Dayton, OH.  Everybody knows that Ohio is just as weird, but in a darker, bodies in the crawlspace kind of way.    Well, Yolanda threw knives her son for eating all the pork chops.   Honorary Floron and candidate for the Dammit Florida Mother of the Year award.

Greg was on a roll this week.  He also sent in this one.  Benjamin Herman Siegel was arrested from hitting his employees with a bearded dragon.  Seriously.  He was beating his employees with a big lizard and we don't mean that as a euphemism.

She's the portrait of innocence 
Several sent this one in, but we're giving points to Rachel since she was the first.  Kids, meth is a hell of a drug.  If you're already stuck in the shallow end of the gene pool as the case seems to be here with John Arwood and Amber Campbell.  John and Amber got really high, then hid in a closet.  They stayed in the closet because they thought it was locked.  Police rescued them from the locked closet, but not after several days of poop and god knows whatever else built up in there.

Last, we have this nugget sent in by Lunchbox.  I guess you'd call this a failed marketing experiment.  John Balmer decided that he needed to start advertising his business.  The problem is that his business is a little shady.  Well, a lot shady I guess.  Take a look at his mugshot and see if you can figure out where he went wrong with the marketing campaign.

What could possibly go wrong?

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