Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I feel so much safer.

Papers please.
What happens when the world's most inept government agency hires fast food workers to run it's operations?


I have no words.

I can tell you from experience that the TSA in Orlando is staffed with lower than average forms of life, even for the TSA.

We were coming home from Disney World sometime around 2007.  We were coming home, running late and trying to get to our flight.  My seven year old son was the last of us to come through.  He had put a half used sample size of toothpaste in his backpack.  Well, the TSA screener who left a lucrative job at Burger King to decide who gets on a plane and who gets beat with rubber hoses in an 8x8 concrete room under the airport decided she was going to detain my son for his contraband Colgate.

This did not sit well with me.

My lovely wife saw my face and proceeded to get herself and my daughter the hell out of dodge.  She didn't want to get locked up just for being part of the family.  They headed for the gate, quickstyle.

I nicely told her that we can just throw the toothpaste away and be on our way.  That wasn't good enough.  She then put her hands on my son.

Oh hells no.  Wrong answer, this isn't happening.  I'm pretty sure this was the first time my kids heard me drop the F bomb.  I dropped it, I dropped it loud and I dropped it good.  I explained to her that in no uncertain terms was she to touch my kid again or we're going to have a problem.  She is welcome to keep the toothpaste, but we are getting on the plane.   She still didn't want the toothpaste so I threw a fastball right past her into the trash can in her little screening station.  She grabbed my wrist.   I asked her to show me her ID.  She refused.  I knew she would because she made a big effort to hide it when I first walked over to see what the problem was.  She kept it hidden during the whole encounter.  I told her this interaction was done and walked away.

Thankfully, she didn't call security and have me locked up.

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